Monday, October 15, 2012

Should you beat up a stalker to make him stop stalking?

The usual answer is no, because "that will just make him mad."  On the other hand, he may end up raping and killing his target if he cannot otherwise be stopped.

On page 75 of the book Stalked, by Melita Schaum and Karen Parrish, a stalking victim named Erica is quoted as saying, "I want to share of word of advice that I got from two different police officers ... They each told me, on two separate occasions, that there was only one thing that could be done to effectively force him to leave me alone.  They suggested I take the law into my own hands and find someone to beat the living daylights out of him and give him the scare of his life."

If you had a sister, a daughter, or a close friend who was terrified that she was going to be raped and murdered, and if there were no grounds to have the stalker arrested, what would you do?  Would you find a couple of men to beat him up?  If so, to what extent, since a mild beating might just make him more determined than ever?


  1. Key point on the advice here: Any beating must be severe (broken bones, etc.). The stalker must understand that there is no second warning.

    That said, most people aren't equipped to put someone through such severe trauma, and there's always the risk of the stalker dying (heart attack, etc.), so this isn't something to take casually.


    For more information on WHY you don't talk to the police (ever), search YouTube for "Why you shouldn't talk to police.".

  2. My grandfather tells a story about a peeping tom back in the day. The guys in the family dug a pit trap next to the lady's window, then waited for the peep to show up. They beat the **** out of the guy and he never came back.

    I lived next to a real Hell's Angle a while back. It was a shady rough group over there, but they did have a strand of morality. One night they went after a child molester. They broke both his legs, putting the guy in a wheel chair for life. He was warned that next time he was going into a hole that no one comes out of. It was a true threat--the hole being one of the more remote abandoned mine shafts in the area.

    Stalkers come in different flavors and I imagine that the severity of the 'warning' should match the severity of the eminent crime. And if they make it into your home, be prepared to end the game right there. You do live in a state with a Castle Doctrine, right?

  3. One should never threaten violence.

    A person who feels threatened by a stalker should advertise, advertise, advertise the stalkers' identity, specific actions and threats, and how those actions and threats have effected the victim. Let it be known at work, on social media, at religious gatherings, among family and friends, and in other close circles how the victim has communicated their wishes to be left alone - and finally, ADVERTISE how the stalker has made the victim FEAR FOR THEIR LIVES.

    Having that foundation laid:

    Beating someone up 'a little' is essentially a threat.
    1) Stalkers who can be stopped by this action could have been stopped without bodily harm - so it was a bad tack to take.
    2) Stalkers who survive being beaten up 'a little' will be undeterred and more than likely to increase their activities. ("What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.") The attack will psychologically bolster the stalker and be seen as a hurdle that was overcome, therefore the reward for perseverance must be the object or objective of their desire.

    So, I disagree with a 'warning beating'.

    If a defensive action that ends with finality is the only way to put a full stop to the stalker, so be it.

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  4. I respectfully disagree with Anonymous October 18, 2012 12:20AM.

    "One should never threaten violence. Ever."

    The LEOs do exactly that ALL the time. It is the ONLY thing that gives them their perceived "authority". Disobey their, warning you 'a little' beat up.

    Stalkers who are threatening someone's body and/or life needs to be stopped BEFORE they can do any more damage. Period.

    So, to answer the question...yes, I would beat them up or have them beat up if I couldn't do it myself. I would be one pissed off woman, let me tell ya!

    Just sayin'

  5. It depends on the stalker. Beating the guy up is disastrous
    advice if the stalker is a psychopath who believes he "owns" his victim.
    In such a case, there can be an "If I can't have her no one can" mentality which will lead the stalker to become a killer.

  6. As a child growing up under abuse and being bullied in school, I learned latter in life sometimes you have to take the attack to the attackers. I had someone begin to stalk me because I frankly almost had an affair with her and she threatened to blackmail me. I let her know face to face in clear terms she was messing with the wrong person and she had no idea what I was capable of. I never heard from her again and I am working hard to save my marriage. The truth is most bullies only attack those they feel safe attacking,turn the tables and they often cower in fear.

  7. I wanted to add my friend was dating a woman whose ex BF was a wife beater type. He was stalking her and threatening her, it keep escalating. Her childhood friend was a cop and he and his buddies off duty gave the ex a proper tune up. The next day he showed up beaten real good, and apologized and she never heard from him again.

  8. Whatever you do, do not state your intent before and never afterwards. Never ever talk about it too anyone. Do whatever you do alone. No one can keep a one.

  9. Friend of mine had this problem she joined the Navy.. He tried to follow her, four guys from boot helped him get up after repeatedly falling (incredibly hard) into the concrete.

    This year a stalker tracked us down by posing as a family member from another state trying to build a family tree. Broke into our home while we were there. He threatened my wife and I while we were on cell to police (it would have been justifiable) but I'm a preacher. Well after the police removed him we left (within ten minutes) good thing too because the police gave him permission to come back on their way out of the neighborhood!

    Moral if you have a gun (and it's justified) don't make same mistake we did. If you have to have a B.O.B. (Bug Out Bag) for all family members - their not just for preppers their for safety - your safety.
    If you keep your vehicle stocked up Jerry-can of gas, shoebox of snacks etc and don't have to stop within 200 miles of your exit point you will greatly increase your chances.

    Thank You for your books, my wife is disabled and can't walk, so not being able to be found is way better than having to run away.

    If you beat someone up, don't get caught. If you use deadly force don't leave them alive or the court will say you didn't believe your life was an imminent danger or you would have defended it (instead of committing Assault with a Deadly Weapon) sad world we live in.

    Now we are living mobile.


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